Here are the best and worst of Capitol Hill’s attempted April Fools

It’s April Fools Day, that time of year when lawmakers can’t resist the urge to try jokes that are funny — but not too funny — and almost always fail. Here’s a lineup of this year’s attempts that caught our eye:

Winners, for whom the bar is admittedly low:

Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.) claimed to have grown back his long-lost fingers. For those unfamiliar with the bit, the senator only has seven fingers due to a farming accident … usually.
Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) revealed the (humorous) truth about his alleged body double.
Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) talked about brisket. A lot. This isn’t technically April Fools content but it gave us a chuckle nonetheless.

We won’t be so uncharitable as to name losers, but the… non-winners of the day so far:

Sen. Peter Welch (D-Vt.) asserted Canadian maple syrup is better than Vermont maple syrup. We’d never trust Welch to turn his back on Vermont. 
Rep. Seth Moulton (D-Mass.) did his own mean tweets session — a play on the late-night “Jimmy Kimmel Live” bit where celebrities read mean tweets about themselves on camera. Moulton’s rendition included a laugh track in the background and a lot of talk about trains. 
Not a politician, but the D.C. metro system ran a fake ad for a perfume based on the Capitol South metro stop. We do not know what this would smell like — and we do not want to. 
He’s not a member of Congress, but former President Donald Trump’s campaign sent an email that said he was suspending his 2024 bid, followed by a “JUST KIDDING” and a “HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!” That is the sort of April Fools joke that journalist nightmares are made of.

We can’t forget the anti-April Fools genre of congressional rhetoric that pops up once a year:

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.), who’s filed a motion to vacate against Speaker Mike Johnson, posted on X that if Johnson “gives another $60 billion to the defense of Ukraine’s border… the cruel joke would be on the American people. And it won’t be April Fools.”
Rep. Thomas Massie echoed the sentiment in a post on X lamenting continued attempts to pass Ukraine aide in the House. “Unfortunately, this is not April [Fools],” he wrote.